Remembering Memorial Day

Don Detrick at David Brainerd GraveI like to visit cemeteries, like this old one in Northampton, Massachusetts, where I visited the grave of Pioneer American missionary, David Brainerd. I know that seems odd to most people. But there is something about visiting a cemetery populated by reminders of the past that makes me more aware of the present. And I always enjoy the history provided there, causing me to reflect on the legacy I might be able to leave behind, or not, depending upon what I do today and whatever tomorrows I have left on this earth.

As a boy growing up in rural Oregon, Memorial Day meant noisy boat races in the nearby Willamette River and a ritual my parents carried out as a sacred duty. They called it “Decoration Day” as it was a day for decorating the graves of our departed family members. Rising early in the morning, we would enter our yard and garden to pick the flowering white blossoms of the snowball tree, pink peonies, orange and yellow day lilies, red rhododendrons or azaleas– anything that happened to be blooming at the moment, colorful and fragrant. Dad was particularly fond of iris, which he always called, “flags.” These cut flowers were carefully arranged in Mason jars and off to the cemetery we would go. My parents would reminisce on the way there and back about relatives I never knew except what I gleaned via those conversations.

Today, many Americans have no idea why we celebrate Memorial Day, viewing it only as a reason for a 3-day weekend.  I once asked an Israeli cardiologist who was a resident at Cedars Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles what he thought about living here. He replied, “I don’t understand your Memorial Day. In Israel it is a very sacred and serious day when we remember those who have died and given their lives for our nation. In America, it is a huge shopping day and sale.”

Memorial Day has traditionally been a day of remembering the many heroes who lost their lives during the Civil War and other wars in which the United States has been involved. All told, more than 1.35 million lives have been lost in America’s wars since our nation’s beginning.  However, for many people, Memorial Day is also a time to honor all loved ones who have passed on before us.

The American Civil War was the deadliest war in American history, and the only one fought on our own soil, with more than 625,000 killed on both sides. Three years after the Civil War ended, on May 5, 1868, the head of an organization of Union veterans – the Grand Army of the Republic (GAR) – established Decoration Day as a time for the nation to decorate the graves of the war dead with flowers. Maj. Gen. John A. Logan declared it should be May 30. It is believed the date was chosen because flowers would be in bloom all over the country. The first large observance was held that year at Arlington National Cemetery, across the Potomac River from Washington, D.C.

The ceremonies centered on the mourning-draped veranda of the Arlington mansion, once the home of Gen. Robert E. Lee. Gen. and Mrs. Ulysses S. Grant and other Washington officials presided. After speeches, children from the Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Orphan Home and members of the GAR made their way through the cemetery, strewing flowers on both Union and Confederate graves, reciting prayers and singing hymns.

In 1966, Congress and President Lyndon Johnson declared Waterloo, N.Y., the “birthplace” of Memorial Day. There, a ceremony on May 5, 1866, honored local veterans who had fought in the Civil War. Businesses closed and residents flew flags at half-staff.

By the end of the 19th century, Memorial Day ceremonies were being held on May 30 throughout the nation. State legislatures passed proclamations designating the day. The Army and Navy adopted regulations for proper observance at their facilities. It was not until after World War I, however, that the day was expanded to honor those who have died in all American wars. In 1971 Memorial Day was declared a national holiday by an act of Congress, though it is still often called Decoration Day. It was then also placed on the last Monday in May, as were some other federal holidays.

Gen. Logan’s order for his posts to decorate graves in 1868 “with the choicest flowers of springtime” urged: “We should guard their graves with sacred vigilance. … Let pleasant paths invite the coming and going of reverent visitors and fond mourners. Let no neglect, no ravages of time, testify to the present or to the coming generations that we have forgotten as a people the cost of a free and undivided republic.”

The crowd attending the first Memorial Day ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery was approximately the same size as those that attend today’s observance, about 5,000 people. Then, as now, small American flags were placed on each grave – a tradition followed at many national cemeteries today. In recent years, the custom for many families is to remember their departed loved ones by visiting cemeteries and cleaning up tombstones, or laying flowers or decorations on graves.[1]

Why do we need a special day to remember the dead?  The answer is simple – it is too easy for the living to forget about them.  Speaking of the dead, the writer of Ecclesiastes says, “For the memory of them is forgotten.”  (Ecclesiastes 9:5b NKJV)  He goes on to say, “Whatever they did in their lifetime – loving, hating, envying – is all long gone. They no longer have a part in anything here on earth.”  (Ecclesiastes 9:6 NLT)

While dedicating the Gettysburg National Cemetery on November 19, 1863, President Abraham Lincoln said:

It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced.  It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us – that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion – that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain – that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom – and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Today we know that to a great extent it was the resolve of President Lincoln that brought an end to both the Civil War and slavery, thus creating a “new birth of freedom.”  The United States of America still exists today because of the principles set forth in a graveyard dedication speech, the Gettysburg Address. Thus it is fitting for us who remain in this day to remember and show honor and respect on this Memorial Day in 2015–and maybe visit a cemetery to pay our respects. Who knows, you might actually enjoy it!

[1] Some information taken from “The Origins of Memorial Day” from the Department of Veteran’s Affairs office of Public Relations at http://www.va.gov/pubaff/mday/mdayorig.htm.

Dealing With Life’s Most Persistent Question: Part 10

Highway to sunset Farm Road Springfield MO 5-2-15On the road to Emmaus, Jesus took the time to offer an explanation to his two questioning friends who were searching for an explanation, for a reason behind all the events they had experienced. He understood the sorrow and disappointment they felt, the loss that had blinded their eyes with tears and dampened their hearts with grief.

“Jesus quoted passages from the writings of Moses and all the prophets, explaining what all the Scriptures said about himself” (Luke 24:27, nlt).

Jesus is a gentleman. He patiently listened and explained. They had an engaging conversation. As they walked, they approached their destination. He did not invite himself in for dinner. He will not force himself on anyone. He will respond to an invitation, though. He waits patiently for each of us to invite him into our heart. He says, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock,” (Revelation 3:20, nkjv).

Cleopas and his friend invited Jesus in and he joined them for a meal. Jesus wants fellowship with us. He wasn’t angry with them. He loved them and was concerned for them. As Jesus blessed the dinner bread, they suddenly understood. Their eyes were opened and they immediately knew who he was.

Along with that revelation came something unexpected. God is always doing things we don’t expect. He vanished out of their sight. But even though they couldn’t see him with their physical sight, their spiritual eyes were opened. That is what happens when we journey with Jesus; we walk by faith, not by sight.

An encounter with Jesus changes everything. They had seen the Lord and their emotions went from confused sadness to elated gladness. Excitedly, they told each other how their hearts had felt strangely warm as he explained the Scriptures to them as they walked down the road.

When we can’t clearly see the road ahead because our vision is blocked by tears or by the tangled web of weedy circumstances, we must focus on Jesus. Once we see him, he gives us vision for the road ahead and shows us the way. He can turn our “Why?” into “Why not!”

I don’t know which lonely Emmaus Road you may be traveling. But I am sure that Jesus is with you, even if you don’t see him or recognize his presence. And when Jesus accompanies us on the road less traveled, it makes all the difference.

 

Mother’s Day Reminiscing

Madeline Detrick late 1970-early1971 Cropped PS

Mother’s Day is always a time for reflection about three of the most important women in my life. The first is my dear wife, Jodi Detrick. Jodi is, in my humble opinion, the most wonderful mother in the world as she nurtures and cares for our three dear children and three precious grandgirls.  No woman could be a better counselor, confidant, coach, or cheerleader. My family treasures her love, warmth, optimistic attitude, encouragement and sense of humor. I am blessed to call her my loving wife. She is a treasure to me and our family.

Louise Dunlap is the second lady on the list, and I’ve called her “mother” for more than four decades. From the time I was a teenager in the days before she became my mother in law, she has always been a positive influence in my life, and her prayers have sustained me through the years. Now in her 80’s and battling health problems, I appreciate more than ever her courage, faith, and optimism in handling whatever life throws at her. She always sees the best in others and believes for the best outcomes under any circumstances.

And whenever I reflect on Mother’s Day, my thoughts naturally gravitate toward my own dear mother. Although mom went to heaven more than twelve years ago, I still think about her most every day. She had the greatest single influence in shaping my young life and I am forever grateful to her and for her persistence in loving me, praying for me, believing in me, and encouraging me to be all that God wanted me to be. She gave me the best advice I’ve ever received:

“Keep your eyes on Jesus.”

She also taught me that you could, “catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar,” although I never understood the benefit of fly catching.  But I digress.

When I close my eyes and reminisce, nostalgic memories flood my heart as I recall things like accompanying her to my nearby home town of Newberg, Oregon. We’d climb into dad’s Oldsmobile on our Sunnycrest Road farm, and enjoy a leisurely conversation during the short ride to Nap’s Market, a frequent destination.

Nap’s wasn’t just a place to buy groceries, it was a place to experience life in a small town. Mom carried on conversations with everyone she met in the store. She knew everybody, and never met a stranger. At Nap’s a glance by the front door let you know who was coming and going in our small town. The stories were simply told with posted obituary notices on the door accompanied by the birth notices in our local paper, The Newberg Graphic, whose masthead read: “The only newspaper in the whole wide world that really cares about Newberg.”

I wasn’t that interested in conversation, comings and goings, or reading The Graphic. My eyes lingered on every colorful item of junk food, candy bars which were a nickel a piece or six for a quarter, or the brightly labeled soda pop—all were vying for my attention. What conversation I did make was trying to convince mom to indulgence my craving for a sample of what my eyes were seeing.

The journey through Nap’s culminated with Mom catching up on the latest news with her friend JoAnne Richards at the checkout stand as JoAnne carefully read the price tag on every item, and punched it into the old cash register. Leaving Nap’s together one day when I was old enough to carry the paper bag of groceries, I remember her saying, “I spent $5.00 for that bag of groceries.  I can remember when you could really buy a lot of groceries for $5.00!”

I remember being by her side and playing with my toys or a young friend when she went to the weekly Women’s Missionary Council meeting at church. There she chatted and prayed with the ladies while they sewed and made quilts for the missionaries.  I remember feeling out of place as a little boy in the J.C. Penney store women’s department.  I remember hiding in the middle of the round racks of dresses until mom was finished shopping there.

I remember going to Rutherford’s “dime store” with mom and seeing all the wondrous things inside.  I remember buying her a blue and silver bottle of “Evening In Paris” perfume for Mother’s Day one year.   I remember the parakeets in huge golden cages and the smell of fresh popcorn, tanks full of goldfish, and tubs overflowing with turtles.  I recall spending many wide-eyed moments walking on those old oiled wooden floors with my mother, begging her for another quarter to spend so I could buy a balsa wood airplane with a rubber band propeller to go along with the silly putty, pixie stix, bubble gum, or super ball I had my eyes on.

Times change, but one thing remains the same:  we always need our mothers.  If your mother is still living, honor her on this Mother’s Day.  Both you and she will be glad you did. And be sure to thank her for her contributions to your life.  If your mother is young, cherish her youth and beauty.  If your mother is old, remember this quote:

“If one wants to see genuine beauty, he will find it in the tender lines that sacrificial love has drawn upon a mother’s face.”   

And if your mother is no longer living on earth, you will appreciate Kristina Keenan’s reminiscence and reminder to us in her brief piece below, “Finding Her There:”

Every year my birthday followed the same ritual.  My mother would come to see me, on that late fall day, and I would open the door.  She would be standing on the step with wind swirling leaves around her feet.

There would be a chill in the air, and in her hands she would hold my birthday gift.  It would always be something small and precious, something I had needed for a long time and just never knew it.

I would open this gift from my mother with great care, then I would tuck it carefully away with all my heart’s possessions.  How fragile these gifts were, from my mother’s hands.

If my mother could come to me today on my birthday, I would bring her into the warmth of my kitchen.  Then we would have a cup of tea, and watch the turning leaves press themselves against the windows.

There would be no rush to open my gift, because today I would know that I had already opened it when I opened the front door to find her there, with the wind swirling leaves around her feet.

http://www.chickensoup.com/book-story/52568/finding-her-there

Dealing With Life’s Most Persistent Question: Part 8

Sunset rolling farm fields Portrait along Hwy 90 near Ritzville WA 4-29-15On the Emmaus Road, late afternoon shadows lengthened as Cleopas and his buddy were walking along and asking questions—probably rhetorical questions. They may or may not have expected answers, but they needed to ask the questions. Their questions represent the dilemmas many of us face in the journey of life:

  •  “What are we going to do now? What is going to happen to us?”
  • “If He did rise from the dead, how did he do it?”
  •  “Why did this happen to a good guy like Jesus? He didn’t deserve to suffer like that.”

The Bible says “they communed together and reasoned…” (Luke 24:15, kjv). The Greek word for “reasoned” is suzeteo and means “make a thorough investigation.” These guys wanted to know what was going on. They were posing the questions of suffering that everybody asks at one time or another.

First, we want to know “What happened?” or “How did this happen?” This is the quest for details. We want to understand fully the whole story. Like hearing the news of a friend’s sudden death, we want to understand how it happened. Was it an accident or a sudden illness? We want to know who, what, when, and where. Details of information will be passed back and forth to satisfy our need to know.

Second, “Why did this happen?” This is a more profound question, and one that consistently persists. Once we know how, we want to know why. The “why” questions are always the most difficult, indeed they are life’s most persistent questions. They often defy solution. We search for reasons. Like Cleopas and his buddy, we investigate and seek answers, even though they often can’t be found in the here and now.

  • “Why did Jesus return to Jerusalem if He knew people wanted to kill him?”
  • “Why did Peter deny Jesus?”
  • “Why did Judas betray Jesus and then kill himself?”
  • “Why didn’t Jesus stop the people who were killing him?”
  •  “Why didn’t we all stick together?”

When we are troubled, it is helpful to remember that Jesus walks with us on our journey of life. He is never distant or far away. While these disciples were walking along and trying to figure things out, Jesus drew near to them. During troubled times we may think God is a million miles away. Panic sets in when we feel abandoned. We don’t usually make good decisions when we are in a state of panic or fear. And fear makes a poor lens for viewing life. It distorts reality and magnifies problems. It makes God appear to be far away while trouble appears to be next door.

Jesus is as close as the mention of his name. The Bible is full of promises about God’s nearness and comfort during our times of sorrow and grief. The journey may get rough at times, but Jesus will strengthen our faith as we recognize his presence and trust the promises of Scripture:

  • God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1)
  • God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. (Acts 17:27)
  • For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5, nkjv)
  • … surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matthew 28:20)
  • Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9, nkjv)

Never forget:  Jesus is bigger than your questions, and as close as the mention of his name.

Dealing With Life’s Most Persistent Question: Part 7

Road Less Travelled Spring trees roadway 3 forks area 4-15-15In 1916, Robert Frost published a poem titled, The Road Not Taken. It helps to illustrate the fact that life really is a journey and that we have a variety of options. “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— / I took the one less traveled by. / And that has made all the difference.” Jodi and I both love that poem, and the many parallels to life that can be drawn from it.

Sometimes the little choices we make in life that really do make all the difference. Had it not been for a mutual friend, or the fact that I chose to attend a particular church youth event as a teenager, I might never have met Jodi. Naturally, we seldom realize the importance of those little choices and decisions at the time. Because we never see more than a small snapshot of the entire roadmap at any one time, we are prone to be shortsighted. That makes it even more important to stay close to Jesus and walk with him so he can show us the way. It can be a tall order.

The Apostle Paul reflected on this challenge in 1 Corinthians 13:12. He wrote, “Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now” (nlt). Here he contrasts our present blurred vision with the future clear revelation in heaven. When we see Jesus Christ face-to-face, we will see everything else with clarity. Even in this life, the more clearly we see Jesus, the more clearly we will understand the meaning of the here and now.

The Easter story provides the foundation for our faith in Jesus as the resurrected Son of God. Before the resurrection came death and despair. Jesus’ followers were scattered and shocked. You can read Luke’s version of the story beginning in Luke 24:13. All of Jerusalem was in an uproar. The disciples of Jesus were in hiding. There was serious talk of disbanding their group. They were about ready to close the door on the New Testament church for the last time. Little did they know that they were really only forty days away from the grand opening of the church doors on the Day of Pentecost!

Without Jesus, they couldn’t go on. Their hopes were crushed, their dreams shattered. As far as they could see, their leader was gone. But was he? Strange reports from some of the women and a firsthand account by Peter told of an empty tomb, grave clothes lying wrapped as though the body had just evaporated from them, and an appearance by angels announcing a resurrection.

As two friends walked on the road to Emmaus (a distance of about seven miles from Jerusalem) they discussed the situation. We know the name of one, Cleopas (possibly a male form of Cleopatra). His name meant “the glory of being called a father.” A name like that would identify him as a leader. Obviously both Cleopas and his companion had been closely associated with Jesus and the twelve disciples. Perhaps they were part of the larger group of seventy that Jesus had sent out.

We don’t know why they were walking to Emmaus. Maybe they lived there. Maybe they were escaping Jerusalem for fear of losing their own lives. Maybe they just wanted to walk and talk and try to sort things out in their minds. Whenever we have problems, it helps to talk things over with a friend. The resurrection of Jesus Christ is the greatest miracle and the greatest event in history. Yet, from day one it has generated a lot of questions—for many people more questions than answers. That’s the way it is with miracles. Reason asks questions. Our mind wants a resolution to our questions, our hearts want ato believe for that which seems impossible. Faith simply believes the impossible is possible.  Keep believing.

Dealing With Life’s Most Persistent Question: Part 6

Ghost Tree Middle of Cottonwoods Meadowbrook Farm - Nostalgic Purple 4-16-15Sometimes God uses this life’s greatest losses to bring about heaven’s greatest gains.

Perhaps like Mary and Martha in the Bible who lost their brother Lazarus, you have experienced the death of a loved one and been deeply grieved. Grief is a process and it takes time to process our feelings of grief and loss—tempered with the comfort of the Holy Spirit and hope of heaven.

The story of Mary and Martha’s grief at the death of their beloved brother draws me into the drama of the situation. And that is where I discover what has become one of my favorite verses in the Bible. It also happens to be the shortest verse in the Bible—the go-to verse for those who are not gifted with a good memory but want to remember a verse in the Scriptures.  John 11:35, “Jesus wept.”  If you are not familiar with the context, this verse begs the question, “Why?”  Why did Jesus weep?

Jesus wept because of the grief he saw in the lives of his good friends Mary and Martha after the sudden and untimely death of their brother Lazarus. I love this chapter because it provides so many of the answers to the “why?” questions about life and death. Here are a few of the lessons I learn from this:

  1. John 11:5 tells us that “Jesus loved Mary, Martha and Lazarus:” Despite our circumstances, we should never forget that God loves us and wants what is best for us.
  2. John 11:19 tells us that Mary and Martha’s friends gathered: We learn that friends can help us process our grief and bear our burdens.
  3. It is normal to have questions when death suddenly takes a loved one: Mary and Martha were grieving – and they sent for Jesus while their brother was still alive, but Jesus did not respond to their request until after Lazarus died. Naturally, they were disappointed, and somewhat angry. So much so that when Jesus finally did arrive with his disciples, Martha (always the one associated with action) goes out to meet him and rather accusingly exclaims, “If you had been here, our brother would not have died.”
  4. Martha showed her belief and hope when she said, “Even now, you could do something.”
  5. What followed is an important lesson for us about life and death and belief in Jesus: John 11:23-27 Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.”
  6. Martha shared the good news that Jesus had come and sent a secret message to her grieving sister, Mary. “The Master is here, and He is calling for you.” (Matthew 11:28)
  7. We tend to tell ourselves a story to accommodate our pain and resolve our incredulity at our circumstances.  Mary rehearsed the same speech her sister Martha had given. “Jesus, if you had been here, our brother would not have died.” No doubt they had said this over and over. If only. . .”
  8. Jesus cares about our grief. Upon seeing Mary and the weeping, grieving crowd, “Jesus wept.” This is perhaps one of the most poignant verses in all of Scripture. It lets us know that Jesus really was “a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief.”
  9. Others recognized the compassion and power of Jesus.  Yet, they still searched for reasons and asked questions:  Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”
  10. Jesus was moved by their compassion, in spite of their questions and reasoning. John 11:38 “Jesus, once more deeply moved, came to the tomb.” Where He proceeded to call Lazarus from the grave!

A final takeaway from this:  When other people see our faith in Jesus, despite our grief and questions and reasoning, they will be drawn to Him.

“Therefore many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, put their faith in him.” (John 11:45 NIV)

Because sometimes God uses this life’s greatest losses to bring about heaven’s greatest gains!

Dealing With Life’s Most Persistent Question – Part 5

Seaside beach grassy sandy foreground 4-11-15When do most people buy a home or business security system? They do so after they or a neighbor have been robbed. The feeling of being violated breeds an environment of distrust and a sense of urgency. An event motivated us to ask questions and discover solutions so we can take action. Why?  Because something  happened to us that is out of our control. We believe we can get back in control and establish a sense of security by installing a security system.

Whenever something traumatic happens to us, we ask questions in our quest to regain some sense of meaning and security. And our biggest questions usually are God-sized questions that we would like Him to answer. And the biggest question of all is, “WHY?” The why questions always accompany challenges and remain the most lingering and persistent questions. It is a persistent question because it is a question about insecurity and angst – feelings we all experience. We long to make some sense out of events that shape our lives, and gain some sense of security in the process. So we long to know why.

John records a situation where Jesus and his disciples passed by a man who was born blind (John 9:1-7). This disciples asked, “Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”  Their question revealed a common belief – almost like the idea of karma. If something bad happens, then it must be somebody’s fault. Jesus set the record straight – this man was born blind for God’s purposes, not because of something he or his parents had done.

While we are looking for somebody to blame, Jesus is looking for somebody to bless. But when something bad happens to us, long after we have answered the “who, what, when, where, and how” we still seek understanding, thus we ask “Why?” Our insecurity screams out for something secure to provide stability to calm our chaos of emotions.

After the death of their brother Lazarus, when Jesus did not arrive as requested and anticipated, Mary and Martha asked, “Why didn’t you come when we needed you?”

In the next post, I’ll explore how Jesus responded to their inquiry. He never did directly answer their question. What he did do turned their demand into delight and their grief into gratitude.

But until then, remember this:

Your best security system is Jesus! 

 

Dealing With Life’s Most Persistent Question – Part 4

Sunset Snoqualmie River looking west from Meadowbrook Way SE BridgeJesus is the master teacher. He often taught by asking questions, and sometimes answered a question with a question. So what was Jesus teaching us when he asked the ultimate question of suffering?

Jesus’ final words on the cross reflect the over-arching question of the human race, “My God, My God, Why hast thou forsaken me?” If Jesus could ask God such a persistent question, I think we can honestly do so as well.

The answer may not be what we expect—but silence is an answer. Silence does not mean God is hard of hearing. It often does mean that we are not prepared to listen, or hear the real answer. Or it means that we will understand later.

Someone said, “Life must be understood backwards; but it must be lived forward.” So we search for answers and keep moving forward. Often, the understanding does come later as we gain more clarity to the sequence of events. As the picture becomes clearer, the meaning of our pain, suffering, or questions becomes evident. Or not–either way we must learn to wait and trust and learn.

In the 13th chapter of John, Jesus is in the process of washing the disciples feet. Peter does not understand why Jesus would do such an undignified and servile task. He asks, “Lord are you going to wash my feet?”

We can be sure Jesus was not just doing this because he didn’t like the disciples’ dirty, stinky feet and wanted them cleaned up. There was a deeper reason, and the Bible tells us the sequence of events, even details like the timing of the last supper, a basin of water, and a towel.

Peter’s question was a plea for understanding mixed with a bit of embarrassment and indignity that Jesus would do such a thing. This scenario remains a good reminder for us when we question God’s dealings in our lives, wonder if He cares, and ponder the big “Why?”

Jesus responded to Peter’s question with this very important principle – one that we would all do well to remember:  Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” (John 13:7 NIV)

Now. Do not understand. Later. Will understand. This sequence applies to learning about almost everything. Foreign concepts at first seem incomprehensible to us. Later they make perfect sense once we understand. Good teachers know there are no “dumb” questions, especially at first. And Jesus is the best teacher.

Jesus did not scold Peter, and he did not embarrass him. He also did not fully explain or answer all of Peter’s persistent questions. But Jesus did establish this principle that applies in so many situations of our lives:  Life can be understood backwards, but must be lived forward.”  In other words, our perplexing questions about today may well give way to understanding later when more of the picture is revealed to us.

Until later becomes now, we have to keep believing and exercise our faith when we do not see or understand, and wonder, “why?” After all, that is what faith consists of, “The substance of things hoped for, and the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Dealing With Life’s Most Persistent Question – Part 3

Eagle soaring closeup Skagit County 3-26-15“Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”       -Isaiah 40:31

Wait. How we hate to wait! The word may spark anxiety in your heart, but the grieving process takes time. And that flies in the face of our “why wait?” culture and personal orientation when it comes to relief from pressure, anxiety, or desire of any kind.

Whenever you suffer a significant loss, you grieve. And the loss may seem insignificant to others or inconsequential in the big scheme of things. But if it was a big deal to you, if it made your heart feel pain, if it left you anxious and afraid, then you are facing grief. And working through the stages of grief takes time. You will get better. I know, you’ve heard it before. But you will get better. YOU WILL GET BETTER!

Denial. Anger. Bargaining.  Depression. Acceptance. How this process of grief plays out, and the length of each stage differs from person to person. It takes time–you just don’t know how much time. But you will get better. YOU WILL GET BETTER!

If you have read this far, you might think I am over-simplifying things, and if you are grieving your mind may have already circled back to the “Why?” question again. Well, you’ve come this far.  Why stop now? There, I did it–found another use for that most persistent question. And how about another?  Why not? Why not, indeed?

Why not learn from a fellow traveler on the road of suffering who had his share of disappointment–both giving it and receiving it. His name was Peter – and yes he is the one who cursed and denied that he had ever heard of Jesus (after promising that he would never do such a thing) at the moment Jesus needed him the most. Ouch!  Like I said, he understood disappointment. The Bible tells us that following that stellar performance, Peter went out and “wept bitterly.” This was such a big deal that both Matthew and Luke reported his bitter tears in their Gospels (Matthew 26:75; Luke 22:62).

When Peter speaks about suffering and disappointment, perhaps we should listen. Many years past that painful event, Peter, who had been transformed by Pentecost and the working of the Spirit in his life over time, shares some advice for fellow pilgrims who wonder, “Why me?”

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.  If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And, “If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?” So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.  (1 Peter 4:12-19 NIV)

So did you catch what Peter said? I understand that he was writing to first century Christians who may have been facing persecution and even martyrdom for their faith–unlike anything most westerners are likely to face today. However his words provide meaning to all people in all places for all time.

  • Don’t be surprised by suffering.
  • Rejoice in your relationship with Christ.
  • Don’t think you are suffering for Christ if you are just being a jerk.
  • You may be suffering, “according to God’s will” despite those who theorize that God always wants you to be happy.
  • Commit yourself to our Faithful God.
  • Continue to do good.

This begs the question, “Why is it so difficult to apply this to my life?” Let’s begin with baby steps:

  1. What surprises you about your situation? The word “incredulity” means, “I can’t believe this happened to me!” What would it take for you to get over your shock that it did happen?
  2. What blessing can you discover to rejoice about today?
  3. What can you do to commit your ways to God? I like to pray and personalize these verses from Psalm 37:3-5 “Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this.” (NIV)
  4. What is one good thing that you can do right now as a next step toward “continuing to do good”? Go for it. You can do this!

And always remember:  When you think you won’t, YOU WILL GET BETTER! Have a great weekend. After all, why not? More about life’s persistent question and another relevant story about Peter next week.

Dealing With Life’s Most Persistent Question – Part 2

Snoqualmie Trail along Snoqualmie River Mt Si Background 3-20-15For most of us, the quest for answers continues long after the storm has passed. And that lingering, most persistent question consistently nags at your heart and soul. At a time when your troubled soul pines for consistency and order, you instead experience a chaos of emotions and the only consistent thing seems to be a flashback to traumatic events accompanied by the search for a cause: “Why?”

Long after you have organized the pertinent details (the who, what, where, when, and how) into a tidy corner of your mind, you just cannot seem to find an adequate compartment to fit the enormous tension contained in that tiny three-lettered word, “Why?”

  • Why did this happen?
  • Why did this happen to me?
  • Why didn’t God prevent it?
  • Why couldn’t I have seen it coming?
  • Why was I so careless?
  • Why didn’t someone warn me?
  • Why can’t I get over this?

Don’t get me wrong. Why is an important question. Maybe life’s most important question when asked in the context of, “Why am I here?” Defining the answer to that question helps provide purpose in life–an essential ingredient for a fulfilling existence. And as Simon Sinek reminds us in his best-selling business book, Start With Why, if you don’t know why you won’t know how, and may not fully understand what, either.  This truth pertains to individuals as well as businesses and organizations.

Why explores the reasons behind what we do. Why searches for intent and motivation. But why can also indicate a quest for placing blame or shame. And that is frequently the application when it comes to dealing with the grief of disappointment, catastrophe, or loss. We want a reasonable explanation for the chaos in our hearts and lives. We want to know who is responsible, to resolve our own angst. Once that is settled, we are on the path toward acceptance. This is where we can place the answer to “Why?” in its proper compartment and move on, and eventually the sharp edges of that memory will no longer cause the same kind of prickly pain we initially experienced.

So, what are the persistent questions you are dealing with in your life? How are you dealing with them? Why are you still stuck? Who can you confide in? What are you afraid of? What will it take for you to move on? What is God asking you to do?  And above all, remember this:  YOU WILL GET BETTER. THINGS WILL CHANGE. We’ll explore this further in the next post.